A primate was found perched on the seat of a motorcycle, maybe seconds away from mastering its controls and finally bridging the eternal gap between monkeys and humans in the motorcycle community. Then some asshole had to go and throw a shoe at it.

The Daily Mail puts this in Thai province of Chachoengsao and describes it as “a fistfight between a human and a monkey.” Looks more like some dick being mean to a small animal.

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I get how angering it might be to watch a monkey pee on your seat, and then the need for self-defense, but there’s some egregious provocation going on in between here. Pretty sure that guy could have avoided eating dirt and monkey fist if he hadn’t fired the first shot.

Don’t persecute our primate motorcyclists. Someday they’re going to come back, with friends, blow up the Statue of Liberty and rule the Earth.

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Contact the author at andrew@jalopnik.com.