Here’s a thing not to do: don’t try to surf along the side of a container ship on your jet ski.

This video, turned up by gCaptain, shows some dude as he rides up close to an innocent gentle giant container ship on the approach to the port of Southampton, England. The hubris-in-bro-form jet skier then rides up very close to the ship to sort of surf along it, then bumps into the side and nearly gets sucked right under it.

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The dude is just barely able to re-attach his dead man’s switch and get out of the ship’s way. He utters the inimitable words of the platonic idea of a bro: “Duuuuuuuuude. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!”