Humans, when faced with a challenging obstacle, revert to an instictive mode that has only two possible settings: fight, or flight. When fighting isn’t possible - as is the case with this idiot bike rider who crashes his bike after the police try to apprehend him - the only option is to run as fast as your skinny jeans can allow.

A video emerged on the internet, posted by Facebook group Bikes Vs Cops, depicting motorcycle riders arranged in what I can only guess is a rudimentary migration pattern, in what looks to be a region of the country that has riders using Motorola RAZRs as their primary video recording devices.

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One sportbike in particular looks to have been singled out by police, as an officer quickly bursts into frame and attempts to take the rider off the bike with a not insignificant amount of force.

The rider then guns the engine to redline, perhaps in defiance, but more likely in pants-shitting panic because he would have to admit that his girlfriend’s parents were right about him. He promptly lanesplits while doing a wheelie, lands in the middle of an intersection and starts an all-out sprint to a fellow rider who gives him a seat on his hog as they ride into the sunset, likely while high-fiving each other and saying the words “dank” and “bro” until one of them passes out. What a goddamn mess.

As it stands, the asshole rider left his crumpled and leaking bike in the middle of the busy intersection, VIN and license plate intact as a gift for the police. Perhaps the bike was stolen and he didn’t want to get caught. Perhaps he was an undercover officer and couldn’t get made, or else the case he’d been working on for 12 years would’ve been thrown down the drain, or perhaps he finally jumped on the chance to make a new life for himself with the friend that picked him up and whisked him away to a safe place with a shoulder to cry on.

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In any case, total assholes like these guys should never be on the road and I hope to everything that’s holy that these dummies wise up before they brand all riders as irresponsible lunatics.